Mooggie, being the gentleman he is, chose not to tell me the sordid version of the penis. He favored the more mystical reason for its existence: a superstition that has to do with valleys, the mount of venus, and babies. He had me at valley. According to Mooggie, the penis points erotically to a small valley in the shape of a woman's parts. Barren women straddle the penis facing the "V-Slope," leave offerings in a little receptacle strategically located under the head of the phallus, place blue scarves on the shrine, et voila. Nine months later, they give birth to a beautiful baby.
This is how Mooggie explained it to me: